Author Jody Lamb smiling and holding up her memoir, My Job is Me

My Job Is Me: The Story Behind My Memoir About Growing Up With an Alcoholic Mother

If you’ve ever been the one holding everything together, the one everybody leans on, the one who can’t remember the last time she came first, I wrote a book for you.

Today, my memoir about growing up with an alcoholic mother is out in the world. My Job Is Me: A Memoir of Growing Up Around Addiction and Learning to Let Go is available now in paperback and ebook. Get your copy here →

It took me most of my life to understand what that title means. Here’s the story behind it.

At a glance: My Job Is Me is a memoir by Jody Lamb about growing up with an alcoholic mother, spending decades trying to save her, and learning that her primary job in life was to take good care of herself. Published September 29, 2026, in paperback and ebook, it includes a resource guide for readers beginning their own healing. It’s written for adult children of alcoholics, anyone who loves someone with an addiction, and anyone who puts everyone else first.

What Is My Job Is Me About?

When I was fifteen, my baby sister was eighteen months old. One afternoon, at two o’clock on an ordinary day, our mom was passed out down the hall.

Nobody asked me to take the job. I just took it. I drew the curtains so the neighbors wouldn’t see. I kept the secret from my teachers and my friends. I rocked my sister to sleep. And I got so good at holding our family together that nobody noticed I was coming apart. Honestly, I didn’t notice either.

My job was to fix Mom and keep everyone okay. That job followed me into adulthood. From the outside, I looked fine: college degree, steady career, big smile. On the inside, I was anxious all the time and exhausted in a way sleep didn’t fix. I was untangling my parents’ finances, and I still believed that if I just tried a little harder, she’d stop drinking and we’d all finally be okay.

At twenty-six, I hit a wall. Somewhere in the middle of that, I finally understood the thing nobody had ever told me: my primary job in life was never to save my mom. It was to take good care of myself.

My Job Is Me is the story of those years and of what happened when I finally stopped trying to love my mother into sobriety. It’s about the secrets kids keep, the pain that passes quietly from one generation to the next, and what it really costs to put everyone else first. It doesn’t end with a cure. It ends with something I think is better: peace, and a family changed by letting go.

Why I Wrote a Memoir About My Experience Growing Up Around My Mom’s Alcoholism

I wrote the book I wish someone had handed me.

When I was in the thick of it, I found plenty of clinical definitions of detachment. I found advice that assumed I already knew how to rest, how to want things, and how to come first. What I couldn’t find was the honest version: what it actually felt like to stop, what it cost, and how you live with it afterward.

I’ve been writing and making videos about life as an adult child of an alcoholic since 2009. If you’ve followed along on this blog or on YouTube, you know pieces of this story. The memoir is the whole thing, told the way I’d tell you if we were sitting across a table from each other.

Is It Selfish to Put Yourself First?

No. If you grew up taking care of everyone, putting yourself first will probably feel selfish, and maybe even like betrayal. But taking care of yourself isn’t abandoning the people you love. It’s the job you were always supposed to have.

That idea is at the heart of the book. You can’t love someone into sobriety. I tried for years. Letting go of someone you love isn’t giving up on them. It’s choosing to live your own life while they live theirs.

I won’t pretend it’s easy. Letting go didn’t feel loving to me, even when it was, and I didn’t do it all at once or gracefully. I’m not a therapist, and this book isn’t clinical advice. It’s what happened when I finally believed my first job was taking care of myself.

Who Should Read My Job Is Me?

  • The responsible one. You managed everyone’s moods, kept the peace, and learned to read a room before you learned to read. From the outside, you looked fine.
  • Anyone who loves someone they can’t fix. A parent, a partner, a sibling, a child. If you’ve spent your peace, energy, and joy trying to save someone, you’ll find company in these pages.
  • Anyone who wants to stop, even though it feels like betrayal. You know something has to give, but letting go feels like giving up. This book shows what it looked like when I did it.
  • Anyone who forgot to come first. Rest makes you feel guilty, and you can’t remember the last time you put yourself at the top of the list.

Your details might look different from mine. I think you’ll still recognize yourself.

What Makes This Memoir Different

It’s a memoir, not a manual. The book doesn’t hand you a to-do list. It makes the case that your primary job in life is to take good care of yourself by showing what happened when I finally believed it.

It’s the honest version of letting go. Not the textbook definition of detachment, but the real one: what it felt like, what it cost, and how I live with having done it.

It’s written from the middle, not the mountaintop. I’m not looking back from decades of distance with every lesson tied up in a bow. I’m still in it and still learning, and the parts I haven’t figured out are in the book too.

At the back, you’ll find a resource guide for wherever you are in your own healing.

Where to Buy My Job Is Me

My Job Is Me is available in paperback and ebook as of September 29, 2026.

Ask your library. If money’s tight right now, I completely understand. Ask your local library to order a copy. It puts the book on the shelf for you and for whoever in your town needs it next. Give your librarian the title, my name, and the paperback ISBN: 9780999201671.

Leave a review. Once you’ve read it, a short review on Amazon, Goodreads, or Bookshop.org makes a bigger difference than you’d think. Reviews are how a book like this finds the next person who needs it.

I may earn a small commission if you purchase the book through one of the links above.

About the Author

Jody Lamb is an author whose work centers on one idea: your primary job in life is to take good care of yourself. She has been writing and making videos about life as an adult child of an alcoholic since 2009. Her first book, Easter Ann Peters’ Operation Cool, is a middle-grade novel for kids growing up with an alcoholic parent. It won the Foreword Reviews Book of the Year Award and was recommended by the Betty Ford Center. Jody lives in Michigan with her husband, Andy, and a senior cat who’s convinced she’s still a kitten.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is My Job Is Me by Jody Lamb about?

My Job Is Me is a memoir about growing up with an alcoholic mother, spending decades trying to save her, and learning to let go. It follows Jody Lamb from caretaking as a teenager to the realization that her primary job in life was to take good care of herself.

Is My Job Is Me a true story?

Yes. It’s a memoir based on the author’s own life as the daughter of a mother who struggled with alcoholism.

Is My Job Is Me a self-help book?

No. It’s a memoir, not a manual. It makes its case through story rather than step-by-step advice, and it includes a resource guide at the back for readers who want next steps.

Is this a good book for adult children of alcoholics?

Yes. It was written with adult children of alcoholics in mind, including people who became “the responsible one” in their families and still struggle to put themselves first.

Do I need to have an alcoholic parent to relate to it?

No. The book is also for anyone who loves someone with an addiction, and for anyone who habitually puts everyone else first and doesn’t know how to stop.

Will this book help if someone I love is still drinking?

It may. The book doesn’t promise a cure for the person with the addiction. It focuses on the part you can change: how you take care of yourself while loving someone you can’t fix.

When was My Job Is Me published, and in what formats?

My Job Is Me will publish on September 29, 2026, in paperback (ISBN 9780999201671) and ebook (ISBN 9780999201664). It’s available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop.org, and by request through public libraries.

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